Old faithful Day Book, how I love ye

We are about to enter into November which is NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) and I am planning to give it a grand effort again this year. In the little quiet that remains of October I thought I would rely on my old friend the Day Book for this month's last (and only) entry. . .

Outside my window:

As people say here in Texas, it is fixin' to rain. A cold front is moving in and with it comes rain.

I am thinking:

I am feeling frustrated about working so many hours. I love my job but it is stealing my life. I believe that I am finally to the point where action on this front is impending.

I am thankful for:

Today I am thankful for a friend of mine who paid back part of some money I loaned her. I was flat broke and worried about making it home with the fumes in my tank. Her small repayment means that I can get home tonight without worry. The best thing is I forgot that she owed me money so it was a delightful surprise.

From the kitchen:

This weekend is a celebration of my friend Ellen's wonderful recipes, I am making her Monterey Beans and Cheese as well as her Tuna Turnovers and her absolutely fantastic Carrot Cheddar Soup (sorry I don't have a link from Ellen's site for it). I am also making a roasted chicken and some jambalaya. (I cook on the weekend for the week ahead)

I am wearing:

A dazzling Marlene Dietrichesque tailored suit with tomato red high heels that match my lipstick, I am wearing white gloves and I have a top hat and swagger stick. Oh and my hair is done in finger waves and marceled. . . or possibly I am wearing navy blue scrubs and white nurse clogs with my hair in a french braid.

I am creating:

Cells and carbon dioxide.

I am going:

Into the frey that is Houston traffic in the morning, I have a doctor's appointment, ugh.

I am reading:

The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I am hoping:

That the part time remote coding gig I applied for works out.

I am hearing:

My students diligently working on their assignment.

Around the house:

A pit as usual, it is a comfortable and happy pit, but a pit none the less. I also have absolutely no plans on cleaning this weekend other than the kitchen.

One of my favorite things:

I had a gourmet push-up the other day. Remember those little paper tubes with orange sorbet inside with the plunger to push up the sorbet. This was made with orange gelato topped with a chocolate ganache but still wrapped up on a plunger...wonderful

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Meeting with the president of the Houston chapter of the AAPC (one of my professional organizations) to discuss my speaking at a symposium on ICD-10 next week.

Words I am pondering:

"Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present
experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or
recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without
either clinging to it or rejecting it."

Sylvia Boorstein

Here is a picture I am sharing:

I know I usually share pictures of my dog but this time here is a picture of an owl, well actually a painting. I think I am going to have this tattooed on my shoulder. . .

It has been a couplish months and so I decided to fall back on my old friend the Simple Woman's Day book, I love that thing!

Outside my window
It is hot hot hot, the high today is to be 100 at least and even on into the weekend and next week it is in the 90s. It looks like the blast furnace door has opened, I mean that summer is here.

I am thinking
I really would like some cinnamon coffee. The hospital I am doing my externship at has a staff coffee room and they have giant thermoses of the most delicious coffee. My favorite is the cinnamon, it reminds me of the coffee at Union Street in Detroit. I am very tired as this is my 3rd day in a row only getting 5 hours of sleep and no nap.

I am thankful for

The people I am discussing issues of class and socioeconomic levels with. They are not only providing me with insight but also helping me work through some of my apprehensions about my upcoming entry into a higher level in my career field.

From the kitchen

I found this recipe for home made fudge Popsicles. I am SO going to make these this weekend.

I am wearing

HAH! not the usual scrubs, I had to go to my externship site today and had to wear corporate drag, I am wearing black Sanita clogs, black trousers, a black, white, and grey shirt, a black suit jacket, gunmetal grey pearl earrings and a greyish blueish mother of pearl necklace that matches the earrings. I am also wearing 3 silver rings.

I am creating
Not feeling super creative at the moment so I will go with carbon dioxide.

I am going

To lunch with a friend today and I am so looking forward to it

I am reading

The Blue Book of Fairy Tales by Andrew Lang

I am hoping

I will be able to get my O2 sensors fixed soon on my car. The heat is causing my gas mixture to be off and since my O2 sensors are down my injectors are not compensating

I am hearing
The A/C struggling to keep it cool

Around the house

I am getting a new to me couch for my office. It is small, beautiful and free!

One of my favorite things

I really love going to the beach at night. I am so pale that I catch on fire in the sun so at night is the only time I really get to enjoy the beach. I love the sound of the ocean, the quiet dark and the occasional sea turtle or iridescent algae.

A few plans for the rest of the week
Work on my presentation for school and review my lesson plans for next week.

Words I am pondering
“I must learn to love the fool in me- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries, it alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool." Theodore Rubin

Here is a picture I am sharing, I love elephants and am fascinated by India so here are the 2 in one spot. . .

Outside my window:

It is cloudy and in the low 70s. My lawn needs to be mowed and my wonderful lawn guy Eric is not coming until next weekend. Yes friends it is March and I need to mow weekly.

I am thinking:

Even though I just whined about my yard I am so very happy to be out of the Michigan winters.

I am thankful for:

That I am able to grow and expand even when it feels like I can't go on another step, somehow I am able to go on and as a result I change and become better.

From the kitchen:

This weekend I am going to smoke a rack of ribs for the first time ever. Barbeque is sort of a religion here in Texas and I am generally not a devotee. My plan is to rub em down with some rub bought from my favorite rib joint, Cattle Drive, and then sloooowwww cook em. I am serving the ribs with home made coleslaw, corn on the cob, ranch black beans, and some sort of delicious cobbler or boy bait for dessert. To drink some good cold beer, wine and iced tea for those non booze hounds in my guests.

I am wearing:

The usual, scrubs

I am creating:

Plans for a grand Texas barbeque dinner this weekend, I am even going to decorate the yard with cute little lanterns and set up a table outside. I love dinner parties and as long as the pesky outside bugs stay outside of my screen gazabo, we should be good.

I am going:

To go to a giant Volkswagen rally in Fredricksburg in a couple weeks. I am looking forward to it for sure. This will probably be the last camping trip before the blast furnace of summer opens and I have to wait until fall to camp again.

I am reading:

A book of Japanese myths and folk tales

I am hoping:

My new neighbors tone it down so I don't have to call the cops on them. They have been boozing it up VERY loudly in the front yard all weekend. I am hoping it is just the whoo-hoo-we-just- moved-in celebrating. I hate to be a cranky curmudgeon but dang, 3am and I have to be up at 5:30am, it is too much. Why don' t they do this in the BACK yard.

I am hearing:

My students working on their test

Around the house:

I am the worst housekeeper in the world, I have decided. My house looks like a bomb went off in it, school stuff all over the dining room table, an abandoned project in the livingroom, the kitchen looks like am 8 year old was cooking, it is not pretty at all. It is a good thing I am going to have company this weekend so I have to clean. If it were not for company I am convinced I would live in a space that is a cross between an absent minded professor's office and a Disney bumbling wizard's cottage.

One of my favorite things

I really love the sound for trains blowing their whistles in the distance. I live about 3 blocks away from train tracks and I hear the train blow every night as I am going to sleep. It makes me feel good and sleepy to hear it.

A few plans for the rest of the week

Clean my house, do everything I can ahead for the food prep for the weekend, do partial water changes on my fish tanks, put up my weather proof decorations for the party.

Words I am pondering

“I must learn to love the fool in me- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries, it alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool. Theodore Rubin

Here is a picture I am sharing

I went to walk around the Johnson Space Center at lunch a couple days ago and here is the picture I took of the shuttle, it is HUGE. I tried to climb on it but for some reason they take offence to that, go figure.

Outside my window: The sun is just setting and it is still pretty warm out (around 60), tonight and every night this week it supposed to get into the high 30s. It is so strange to be in the winter and have days in the mid to upper 60s and nights in the high 30s. I keep waiting for the snow shoe to drop.

I am thinking: About intuitive eating and being in touch with food that nourishes my body and makes me feel good. Culture is so full of messages about not trusting one’s body and that certain foods have moral value. It pisses me off.

I am thankful for: Starting up my gratitude journal again. About a week ago I was just an angry miserable injured grizzly bear wreck (part of the residual holiday joy) and I decided to write down all the little things I was thankful for. I felt BETTER! So now I am trying every day to write in my journal at least one thing I am thankful for. It makes a huge difference in my outlook to avoid the whiny minutia and focus on all the good big love in my life.

From the kitchen: As I type this 2 crock pots are busy cooking my dinner. I am making pulled pork and chocolate mess. Both recipes are from the Hillbilly Housewife site. I love this website it is written by a woman who takes frugal living seriously and has fantastic tips.

I am wearing: A sequined copper ball gown with gold opera length gloves, a pheasant feather boa, and a tiara, or more likely I am wearing navy blue scrubs and nurse shoes

I am creating: A teacher tool book based on a class I am taking right now. The class is about learning styles and brain dominances. I am trying to integrate the information from the class into my teaching for this class and my next one.

I am going: to go to the ocean tomorrow to eat my lunch. It is supposed to be clear and warm tomorrow so I am packing up and heading to sit with the jelly fish, crabs, urchins and pelicans and eat my left-overs. It should be mah-velous.

I am reading: “Thinking in the Shadow of Feelings” by Dr Reuven Bar-Levav. It is about what it takes to freely feel while remaining logically sound. Something I have a hard time with, actually. I tend to turn my feelings off completely or at least put them on a long delay. This is proving to be very interesting and applicable reading for dealing with that lag. For fun I am reading “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” by JK Rowling. I am rereading the series in light of the events of the “Deathly Hallows” book, it is a much better series now knowing what I didn’t know then (then being when I first read it).

I am hoping: That my tax return will get here quickly so I can fix my breaks, my oxygen sensors and get a new inspection sticker before I get pulled over.

Note to add: Why the hell are o2 sensors so frickin expensive, I notice no difference in the way my car runs and in fact I am currently enjoying a period of increased gas mileage. To replace these phantoms it is going to cost me $350.00, insane. Oh and of course these useless pieces of gadgetry on my car not working means I cannot pass my inspection grumble grumble grumble.

I am hearing: The air handlers and the teacher in the classroom next to mine teaching

Around the house: My room needs a serious overhaul. I got a new dresser and I need to find a place to put it and reorganize everything, seriously it is looking like I am a bag lady, or rather a piles of clothing and box lady.

One of my favorite things: My friend's cat has a litter of kittens and last week I went over to visit and all 5 of the little kittahs climbed all over me and purred in my ear, they are so cute. Several of them fell asleep on my neck and chest- it was like having a live fur collar on my shirt.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Finish part 2 of the class I am taking and get ready to take the assessment.

Words I am pondering: “Eat foods you like, as much as you want” from a blog post by the fat nutritionist, click to check out her page.

Here is a picture I am sharing: This cracked me up. . .

Outside my window:
It is raining to beat the band. There is a tropical depression in the Gulf and this means buckets of rain for me. The good news is that if I survive the flooding the next few days (which I have off) will be beautiful, sunny and low humidity (for Texas that is).

I am thinking:
Due to a problem with my financial aid I may be having a hard time paying for my last semester this fall. This has caused a crisis of confidence (not to mention a potential delay in grad school). It has made me realize that I am getting far too much of my value from the external (my education and job) and not enough from the internal. I really wish I could learn these lessons in a less dramatic way. This looming doubt about my future has put me in a funk and brought up all sorts of pleasant issues like my value and worth. I wish that when things go wrong I would not turn on myself like a pack of rabid dogs. It really would make life better. The funny thing is that for “real” crises like those that threaten my physical safety or basic needs I feel completely empowered but for non critical crisis (like this one) I immediately become super hard on myself and engage in unhealthy hypercritical behavior and thoughts. Being aware of it certainly helps but it doesn’t always change it. The way I am dealing with it is to go into super self care mode, you know, eat right, sleep, drink water, exercise daily, and avoid caffeine and sugar. I also try to replace the negative with positive but at the moment it feels like a losing battle. Oh joy.

I am thankful for:
A job I LOVE that I am fortunate enough to be good at. A curious mind, the willingness and discipline to self educate.

From the kitchen:
It has been so hot here that the kitchen is pretty closed except for salad and pasta. This weekend I am stuffing a pork loin with cherries and goat cheese and grilling it.

I am wearing:
My usual uniform: navy blue scrubs, white socks, white orthopedic clogs, silver rings and earrings

I am creating:
I am decorating my room in the British Colonial India style. I have never really had a decorating theme before and this is proving to be fun.

I am going:
To go to my first yoga class this weekend. According to the handout for the class it is the best thing since sliced enlightenment and will make me as flexible as a 12 year old Circ du Soleil contortionist. I remain skeptical.

I am reading:
“The Origins and History of Consciousness” by Erich Neumann (a student of CG Jung)

I am hoping:
My financial aid woe will work out and the start for my masters program will not be delayed

I am hearing:
Ravi Shankar “Bridges”

Around the house:
The dust bunnies have mutated into horrible beasts with a vicious streak a mile wide and big nasty pointy teeth

One of my favorite things:
Going to the ocean at dawn with my dog, sun just rising and the beach to myself

A few plans for the rest of the week:
This weekend I am going to finish my deep clean/organization of my room. I am going to take a nice long steam and sauna after my yoga class and perhaps go for a swim after.

Words I am pondering:
“There are 2 kinds of people, those who love you and those who don’t. Those who love you won’t care and those who don’t, don’t matter” John Thomas

Here is a picture I am sharing:

This was taken at my goddaughter's baptism

Left to right

Rae: the adoptive mom

Shirly (in the wheelchair): Rae's mom

Paul: (guy with grey at the temple) Tony's godfather

Tony: (boy to the right of Shirley) Soleil's brother

Me (Christina):(chick with the white shirt) godmother

Tristan: (man with the pink shirt) he is a friend of Shirley

Day Book

Outside my window:
It is hot out tonight, in the mid to upper 80s and very clear. The moon is a sliver and the air smells salty.

I am thinking:
I am really frustrated with my health insurance and my benefits administrator at my job. I need to get my credit repaired so I can get loan to cover a procedure that I need to have done but my insurance plan specifically excludes, even if medically necessary, bastids.

I am thankful for:
I am thankful that my grandma raised me to be tenacious of spirit and that I am willing to change. I am thankful that I have been accepted into 2 masters programs. I am thankful that I love my job and that Texas is such an interesting place. I am thankful that I finally feel at home somewhere in the world, it has been a very long time since I have felt that way.

From the kitchen:
I made chicken enchiladas this Saturday and they were quite good and plentiful enough to give me lunch through Wednesday

I am wearing:
Navy blue scrubs, white Dansko shoes, white support socks, my usual uniform.

I am creating:
My 75g fish tank is coming together. I need to do some rearranging and gather some materials from nature to toss in the tank. My female Apistogramma are coming to me next weekend, if all goes well I should have fry within a month.

I am going:
To die of a heart attack if I don't get a grip on my triglyceride level.

I am reading:
"Elevated plasma glucose and lowered triglyceride levels from omega-3 fatty acid supplementation in type II diabetes" Friday, KE; Childs, MT; Tsunehara, CT; et al
Created for the National Diabetes Association

I am hoping:
That I will be straightening out my crazy financial melt down soon and things will return to budgeting normalcy.

I am hearing:
The air conditioner humming and my students talking about the project they are working on.

Around the house:
I need to clean my room this weekend, a deep cleaning the dog fur is getting a bit intense.

One of my favorite things:
Having the whole house to myself

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Writing a letter to my goddaughter in Spanish, writing letters to a couple of people who are due for some real mail in their lives, figuring out what to give my mom for mother's day

This weekend:
I am going to visit Jana's Aunt Peen who is 96 years old and can whip your butt at gin and is still quite sassy, love her

I am pondering:
"It isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me" Ayn Rand

Here is a picture I am sharing:
Another picture of my Lily dog. She always wants to lick the camera or, as in this picture, seems to want to give me a dubious look: